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It’s October….my favorite month of the year. My birthday is in October and so is Halloween! October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month…..and as many of you know….breast cancer became a part of my life this past year. My husband was also diagnosed with prostate cancer the year before. The Big C.
Our prognosis is excellent and we feel so blessed. I was declared ‘cancer free’ after my surgery. My cancer was confined to my breast and had not spread into my lymph nodes. My husband’s cancer had indeed moved into his lymph nodes, but only 2 or 3. He had surgery and radiation and upon completion of his radiation….he too was declared ‘cancer free’.
But what exactly does ‘cancer free’ mean…..
Here is what my oncologist told me and why cancer is so insidious. They (meaning doctors) never know if they ‘have it all’. There can always be some microscopic cell lying dormant anywhere in your body…..just waiting for its chance to grow. What does that mean for us? A lifetime of testing (blood work and scans if needed) and for me a little pill I take daily. My cancer was estrogen positive, meaning it feeds on my estrogen in my body. That little pill keeps my body from producing estrogen and hopefully that will starve any remaining cancer cells waiting to grow. As for Bill, his cancer was being fed by the testosterone in his body. He was given a form of ‘estrogen’ to starve his cancer. Now does anyone else but me see the irony in that one! YUP! I still have my sense of humor!
Thank goodness for the love and laughter in our lives. And yet, we do as do others still need to ‘talk’ about it. I found a very good analogy that I wanted to share on this “pink” October. I do not know the author, but she or he is spot on……so please, read it, and think about it the next time someone chooses to share their ‘cancer’ story with you.
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Imagine you’re going about your day, minding your own business, when someone sneaks up behind you…
You feel something press up against the back of your head, as someone whispers in your ear.
“Sssshhhhh…. don’t turn around. Just listen. I am holding a gun against the back of your head. I’m going to keep it there. I’m going to follow you around like this every day, for the rest of your life.”
“I’m going to press a bit harder, every so often, just to remind you I’m here, but you need to try your best to ignore me, to move on with your life. Act like I’m not here, but don’t you ever forget… one day I may just pull the trigger… or maybe I won’t. Isn’t this going to be a fun game?”
This is what it is like to be diagnosed with cancer. Any STAGE of cancer. Any KIND of cancer. Remission does not change the constant fear. It never truly goes away. It’s always in the back of your mind.
Please, if you have a loved one who has ever been diagnosed with cancer, remember this. They may never talk about it or they may talk about it often. Listen to them.
They aren’t asking you to make it better. They want you to sit with them in their fear… their sadness… their anger… just for the moment. That’s it.
Don’t try to talk them out of how they are feeling. That doesn’t help. It will only make them feel like what they are going through is being minimized. Don’t remind them of all the good things they still have in their life. They know. They are grateful.
But some days they are more aware of that gun pressing into the back of their head and they need to talk about it. Offer them an ear. (Author unknown)[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.29.3″ text_font=”||||||||” text_font_size=”24px” text_line_height=”1.3em” background_color=”#f5f3f2″ text_orientation=”center”]
Sobering….isn’t it. But it is what it is and sometimes we just need someone to listen. Other times we need to laugh….to laugh out loud at the beast….to know we have life to live and love to share! That is what I choose most days….to love and to laugh….and so I will leave you with this……
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Now, that’s funny and cute and silly! All the things that cancer is NOT. But….it got your attention and hopefully it reminded of you of how important it is for ALL of us to have those yearly visits with our doctors.
Be Well[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]