I love that song and it’s been keeping me strong these past few months. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (invasive ductal carcinoma, to be exact) on January 21, 2019. Hell of a way to bring in the new year…but so be it.
For a while now, I’ve been debating internally about sharing my diagnosis here on my blog. I’m not looking for praise or pity or anything else. I just felt it was something I needed to do….it kept ‘nagging’ at me. So, I’ll add my voice to all the other voices of the brave women who have come before me. It’s good to be heard and maybe my story can help someone else.
Here it is….
I’d had a mammogram in December….which led to an ultra sound…which led to a biopsy. Even though I knew I was in trouble….it was still a huge shock. I was so angry and then so very sad and then the fear and all those ‘what ifs’ come into play.
I dealt with the fear through research. I learned everything I could about this disease and its treatments. I feel so very blessed to have found a breast cancer surgeon, who is kind and caring. She also takes the time to answer questions and go over all the options.
At first it was thought I could have a simple lumpectomy on my right breast, followed by radiation. Unfortunately, my MRI results showed another smaller tumor and another ‘suspicious’ area in my right breast. Now I was looking at a mastectomy. That day….I cried….no it’s not an arm or leg. It is not a vital part of my anatomy. I get that. Yet….it is a part of me, a part of who I am as a woman….a wife…a mother. It is an amputation and it is hard to accept.
Again more research and another talk with my surgeon and finally acceptance. I made the decision to have both breast removed….although the chances of developing beast cancer in my ‘healthy’ breast are slim now…that percentage continues to grow as I age. I want to do all I can to prevent having to go through all of this a second time. I also opted to have reconstruction done at the same time as the mastectomy .
Through all of this my friends, my family, and especially my husband have been so supportive. My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year and had his prostate removed. He will be starting his radiation treatments shortly after my surgery, which is set for March 28th. YUP we are in this damn cancer boat together. It would be really easy to be angry and resentful about our lives right now, but it would serve no purpose.
Faith….I have a boatload of it. I don’t believe God gave either of us cancer. It is just simply part of our journey. I have always felt his presence in my life and he has blessed me in so many beautiful and wonderful ways. This is just a bump in the road and We are gonna be alright…..everything’s gonna be alright.
I did stop painting for a bit….just needed sometime to absorb all this and make a plan. Now, I plan to get back to my easel….it has been calling me. Next post….we shall talk about art and ‘Beef’ the cat. I’ve been working on Beef’s portrait. I’m making good progress. I’m hoping to finish up before my surgery date. After surgery I’ll have tyrannosaurus rex arms….meaning I won’t have much use of my arms for probably 2 or 3 weeks. I should be able to type and I’m going to try my hand at colored pencils….so stay tuned for that….should be interesting
Everything’s gonna be alright!
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You are a brave soul. Have long been an inspiration. I am so sorry to hear of this particular bump in the road for you and Bill, but I know together you will conquer this cancer beast.
“Courage in the path is what makes the path manifest itself.”
Paulo Coelho
Stay brave. Stay strong.
Love and prayers.
Debbie
Awe….Thank you Debbie. Sometimes I don’t feel all that brave, but I’ve been blessed with great family and friends (like you) who are constantly lifting us both up.
I just sent the above note, didn’t add my email.
Thanks Eileen. I’m so glad you have continued your paintings! I hope to be able to continue teaching here in Florida once I recover from my surgery.
Deb, I am sorry to hear about both your cancer and your husband’s. You two have certainly had a lot to deal with lately. Prayers as you journey through your treatments and thank you for sharing.
You don’t know how many times I think of you and the opportunity I had with your watercolor and acrylic classes. I so appreciated everything you taught, especially patience. Fortunately, there are many talented artist’s on Vancouver Island where we are living now and I have continued my journey of painting.
May God’s blessings continue to lift you up. Hugs!
Thanks Mary.
Debbie so sorry to hear about your cancer. I can only send you my prayers and thoughts. Will be thinking about you and hope all goes well for you and your husband. Best wishes, from Del Pueblo.
Thank you Joan.
I love you guys. You are both so mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong. May God help you in these battles.
Keep fighting and win these damn battles.
Love ya! ????
Thanks John. We love you guys too! We’ve got each other and God has both our backs. That’s a winning combination in my book!
Debbie, my prayers are for you and Bill. You have always had the most positive attitude, and I’m sure that will help both of you on this journey. Know that so many people care about you both! Good luck and kick Cancer’s ass!
Thank you Tracy. I’ll do my very best!
Debbie,
Thank you for sharing. The diagnosis is scary but I’ve no doubt you’ll kick cancers butt.
I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you Jill. That’s the plan “kicking cancer’s butt” all the way to the door! LOL!
Godbless you, you are stronger than cancer ever could be!
Dear Debbie and Bill! Wow, we were startled reading about you and Bill’s cancer diagnosis. When is your surgery? Both you and Bill are so strong, and we thank you for sharing your diagnosis with us. An emotional roller coaster for both of you! You have our love, support, and prayers. I’m sure you will update us when you can.
Sending hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
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Thank you Alison. Yes I plan on continuing to post on my blog as long as I can. My surgery is set for March 28th.
Thank you Becky.